Oh, my stars and garters!

Psst! Come with me!
To starsandgarters.blogs.com.
No, come on, really, it'll be great. There's a merry-go-round and candy!

I consume food
We ate dinner at Din Ho tonight.

Before I started going there I ate plates and plates of fatty chicken in brown sauce and fried rice with peas and diced carrots mixed in, even at places that were supposed to be good. I thought Chinese food was okay but kind of sucky.

I was wrong. Everything I've had at Din Ho is delicious, especially the orange chicken and the asparagus crab soup.

The very best thing, though, is when they roll the cart piled with open-beak roasted ducks through the dining room to the butcher block. Quack.

I consume gadgets
I ordered a new toy tonight. It's got a negative scanner, so soon I can make enlargements and color correct my 35mm photos.

This is next on my list, but I should probably wait awhile. Like I need more incentive to sit in front of the computer.

I consume mid-90s television series
Roone bought the first two seasons of Homicide: Life on the Street. So I have to go watch that until my eyes fall out into my lap. Bye.

What does my car smell like today?
A couple of themes have emerged here in the past few weeks. First it was roommates getting attacked by dogs. Now it's the varying odors of my car.

Today it smells like marinade.

I thought I'd be staying in last night, so I bought a bottle of wine. I drank about half of it and decided I wanted company, so I went over to my friends' house. But it was after midnight, too late to buy beer.

You see where this is going. The upshot is that the cunning little wine corkers shaped like stars or the Earth or whatever do not do shit to keep the wine intact when the bottle is rolling around in your trunk.

So I've learned from my mistakes. Apparently, obeying the law is stupid. Next time I'll risk the $500 open container citation and wedge the bottle between my knees. Better yet, I'll leave the wine at home and mooch off my friends' dwindling beer stash, which is what I ended up doing anyway.

Playlist for Club H-E-B:
Uptown Girl, Billy Joel
How Will I Know, Whitney Houston
Burnin' for You, Blue Oyster Cult
Suddenly, Olivia Newton John
Something equally terrible by Billy Ocean; I was futzing around at the checkout stand and didn't really pay attention.

The Muzak is really loud when there aren't too many people in there. The best part was busting a college girl dancing to Whitney Houston in the bread aisle. She blushed and put her arms very straight at her sides when she saw me.

Once I was shopping at Salvation Army and the theme for The Greatest American Hero came on. Just about every person in the store started singing along and gradually became aware that everyone else was too. Everyone started singing louder, and we all gave it a grand finish. A few people clapped. Then everyone broke eye contact and silently went back to rooting around for cheap corduroys or whatever. It was great.

Thank you, helpful friends!
Your spoken, written, and shouted encouragement has motivated me to make a dentist appointment for March 1. Yes! I hung up with the receptionist and danced down the hall.

My excitement may seem disproportionate--psychotic, even--but you'll understand when I burn your retinas out with my gleaming, fantastic smile.

Here's what they look like now:


Yeah, they're pretty dingy. (I'm sensitive, so please be discreet when you see me and try to look at how bad they really are.)

Anyway, enjoy my cruddy teeth while you can. After March I'll have a clean canvas upon which to daub lots of nicotine, coffee, and red wine.

Final tally
I have walked 2.55 miles today just by going about my day. Does that sound like a lot? I was hoping it would be more.

In other news
My roommate Wain was a riding his bike tonight and got chased by a dog that was snapping at his feet. He said he handled it by dismounting and chasing the dog right back. The dog looked confused for a second and ran away.

I applaud Wain for his temerity, but I think I'll stick with my strategy, which is to yell "GIT!" (except usually in my panic my voice breaks, so it sounds more like "GI...t.") and pedal like a maniac.

Mileage
I have walked 1.74 miles (4,794 steps) over the course of my workday. That includes trips to the cafeteria and the 7-Eleven up the street.
I can't wait to see how far I can go while drinking beer on the sofa tonight.

Help me run my life
Would somebody bug me about going to the dentist? And also wax my car? Thanks.

New toy
I have a pedometer.

So far I have walked 0.63 miles today. That's 1736 steps.
It's .02 miles from my bedroom to the carport.
It's .03 miles from my office to the women's restroom.

Fun time
Today we're making Calder mobiles.

When you're done, check out this guy's other stuff.

Equation to determine my bedtime

Let P=Pad Thai consumption (in ounces).
Let C=Cups of coffee drunk after 7 p.m.
Let G=Grumpy.
Let T=Tired.

(P17)+(C2) / (G9)+(T8.5)
=
1.08 a.m.


Hey, you know what's interesting?
Adaptation in polar bears! Fuck yes!