1.16.2004
I like to make faces.
Victory
My office is now tidy, clean, and fully functional. The effect is marred only by the huge damp coffee stain on Joel's side of the carpet. (Sorry about that.)
My office is now tidy, clean, and fully functional. The effect is marred only by the huge damp coffee stain on Joel's side of the carpet. (Sorry about that.)
Sprout epilogue
I took yesterday off and forgot to dispose of my sad sprouts. Now they are stuck together with a delicate web of mold and smell like dirty feet. I should probably pour them into the garbage disposal.
I should really clean my entire office, now that I look at it. It's pretty disgusting. My officemate cleaned his desk today. It looks beautiful, but throws the trashiness of the rest of the room into stark relief. So thanks, Joel, for making me aware of what a filthy slob I am; thank you for making me ashamed.
I took yesterday off and forgot to dispose of my sad sprouts. Now they are stuck together with a delicate web of mold and smell like dirty feet. I should probably pour them into the garbage disposal.
I should really clean my entire office, now that I look at it. It's pretty disgusting. My officemate cleaned his desk today. It looks beautiful, but throws the trashiness of the rest of the room into stark relief. So thanks, Joel, for making me aware of what a filthy slob I am; thank you for making me ashamed.
1.15.2004
When I said you should go...
You see interesting stuff sometimes when you bother to leave the house.
Today I was about to turn left at a difficult intersection near my house. A big scruffy guy started to cross the street in front of me but stopped when I pulled up. I did the little "after you" wave and waited. He gave me a malevolent look, rooted around, pulled out his astonishingly gigantic penis, and started urinating into the street. I closed my mouth and made the turn while he pissed away, craning his neck to glare at me all the way up 38th 1/2 Street. Wow.
I think I prefer my friend Amy's story about Leslie wearing a sombrero and joyfully waving to motorists the other morning, but this is all I've got.
Ok, bye!
You see interesting stuff sometimes when you bother to leave the house.
Today I was about to turn left at a difficult intersection near my house. A big scruffy guy started to cross the street in front of me but stopped when I pulled up. I did the little "after you" wave and waited. He gave me a malevolent look, rooted around, pulled out his astonishingly gigantic penis, and started urinating into the street. I closed my mouth and made the turn while he pissed away, craning his neck to glare at me all the way up 38th 1/2 Street. Wow.
I think I prefer my friend Amy's story about Leslie wearing a sombrero and joyfully waving to motorists the other morning, but this is all I've got.
Ok, bye!
1.14.2004
It is time for stormy weather
I like weather a lot. Large-scale forces of nature unceasingly sweep over the earth and remind us we are but a miniscule and helpless part of this planet, etc.
It's a terrible interest for me, though, because I'm lousy at science. I took a meteorology class in college and did all right, but I couldn't get my brain around certain concepts. (No, really, lapse rates were a bitch. Look at this.) After that, I gave up on understanding weather and stuck with the basics. Sun hot. Thunder loud. Lightning pretty. (Joolie stupid.)
That makes me sad.
I think weather in general is a dullard's topic anyway, the all-purpose conversation for people who either don't want to talk to each other or are particularly taken with the obvious:
Nice day.
Mmmhmm, it's real pretty out.
(Silence.)
Well, talk to you later.
Yep, you be good now.
Or:
Looks like rain.
Well, I sure hope so, because my lawn looks terrible. It's all crunchy and brown, and oh! there's my bus; see you in hell, you creepy drunk-at-eight-a.m. weather-talking bozo.
That sort of thing makes me sad too.
Which is why I love Jim Spencer. Jim Spencer would never be boring about the weather. He understands lapse rates, and he loves to talk about precipitation. His eyes were practically rolling back in his head tonight when he was talking about the excellent chance for rain over the next three days. His voice trembled as he discussed the temperature; he really, really wanted us to appreciate the anomaly with him. "That's right. Sixty-two degrees, folks. At 10 p.m. In January."
Really, he is so cute. It's just a rain system. But when he finished the forecast and triumphantly handed the newscast back to the anchor, she sort of rolled her eyes and gave him an dismissive "Thanks, Jim." Like he was just the biggest dork in the world and it was about time he stopped babbling because her stupid passionless teaser about the responsibilities of the Ice Bats' captain was so fucking vital. Just thinking about it makes me sad all over again, and now I hate her.
Anyway, here are some weather sites if you're interested. I'm going to sit on my porch with a drink and watch the rain come in until I have to go to bed.
The Weather Channel
Skywarn Texas
The National Weather Service's storm prediction page
Real-time lightning strikes in Central Texas
I like weather a lot. Large-scale forces of nature unceasingly sweep over the earth and remind us we are but a miniscule and helpless part of this planet, etc.
It's a terrible interest for me, though, because I'm lousy at science. I took a meteorology class in college and did all right, but I couldn't get my brain around certain concepts. (No, really, lapse rates were a bitch. Look at this.) After that, I gave up on understanding weather and stuck with the basics. Sun hot. Thunder loud. Lightning pretty. (Joolie stupid.)
That makes me sad.
I think weather in general is a dullard's topic anyway, the all-purpose conversation for people who either don't want to talk to each other or are particularly taken with the obvious:
Nice day.
Mmmhmm, it's real pretty out.
(Silence.)
Well, talk to you later.
Yep, you be good now.
Or:
Looks like rain.
Well, I sure hope so, because my lawn looks terrible. It's all crunchy and brown, and oh! there's my bus; see you in hell, you creepy drunk-at-eight-a.m. weather-talking bozo.
That sort of thing makes me sad too.
Which is why I love Jim Spencer. Jim Spencer would never be boring about the weather. He understands lapse rates, and he loves to talk about precipitation. His eyes were practically rolling back in his head tonight when he was talking about the excellent chance for rain over the next three days. His voice trembled as he discussed the temperature; he really, really wanted us to appreciate the anomaly with him. "That's right. Sixty-two degrees, folks. At 10 p.m. In January."
Really, he is so cute. It's just a rain system. But when he finished the forecast and triumphantly handed the newscast back to the anchor, she sort of rolled her eyes and gave him an dismissive "Thanks, Jim." Like he was just the biggest dork in the world and it was about time he stopped babbling because her stupid passionless teaser about the responsibilities of the Ice Bats' captain was so fucking vital. Just thinking about it makes me sad all over again, and now I hate her.
Anyway, here are some weather sites if you're interested. I'm going to sit on my porch with a drink and watch the rain come in until I have to go to bed.
The Weather Channel
Skywarn Texas
The National Weather Service's storm prediction page
Real-time lightning strikes in Central Texas
Stupid sprout update
So far my yield is about 50 sprouts from 500 seeds. The instructions say there probably won't be any more. Despite their fetid smell, I tried a few. Not bad; they're nutty and spicy. But I'm not about to rummage through a stinky, sodden mass of failure to harvest the rest.
Maybe I'll try lentils next time. Whatever I decide, I promise not to write about it.
So far my yield is about 50 sprouts from 500 seeds. The instructions say there probably won't be any more. Despite their fetid smell, I tried a few. Not bad; they're nutty and spicy. But I'm not about to rummage through a stinky, sodden mass of failure to harvest the rest.
Maybe I'll try lentils next time. Whatever I decide, I promise not to write about it.
1.13.2004
Sprout experiment update
After 24 hours, the seeds broken and soggy and smell kind of sour. They could not look any less like they're supposed to. I am puzzled and sad.
After 24 hours, the seeds broken and soggy and smell kind of sour. They could not look any less like they're supposed to. I am puzzled and sad.
You got it, kiddo
My sister read this the other day.
She seemed unimpressed.
She was also pissed that I hadn't mentioned her yet.
So I just did.
And to make up for my negligence I made her this.
My sister read this the other day.
She seemed unimpressed.
She was also pissed that I hadn't mentioned her yet.
So I just did.
And to make up for my negligence I made her this.
1.12.2004
Proximity Profile
Roone Briley sleeps in the bedroom next to mine. He drinks gin and tonics at Club de Ville and takes glucosamine tablets. Roone is a fan of UT football and recently purchased a two-year subscription to The Economist.
Roone Briley sleeps in the bedroom next to mine. He drinks gin and tonics at Club de Ville and takes glucosamine tablets. Roone is a fan of UT football and recently purchased a two-year subscription to The Economist.
Activities for a drizzly Monday:
1. Playing cribbage
Cribbage is always an enjoyable pastime, especially on such a festive board.
2. Smoking cigarette after cigarette until your throat feels like it's going to bleed
Don't knock it until you've tried it.
3. Conducting science experiments
This week we'll be trying to grow sunflower sprouts in what is touted as the "easiest sprouter ever!" I never even knew there was such a thing as a sprouter until I got one for Christmas, so I won't be able to confirm its relative ease. Updates to follow, though, and if the sprouts are any good I'll share.
1. Playing cribbage
Cribbage is always an enjoyable pastime, especially on such a festive board.
2. Smoking cigarette after cigarette until your throat feels like it's going to bleed
Don't knock it until you've tried it.
3. Conducting science experiments
This week we'll be trying to grow sunflower sprouts in what is touted as the "easiest sprouter ever!" I never even knew there was such a thing as a sprouter until I got one for Christmas, so I won't be able to confirm its relative ease. Updates to follow, though, and if the sprouts are any good I'll share.
1.11.2004
I'm ruined
All it takes to undo me is a baby shower followed by three hours spent at the mall helping someone else shop.
My hands still stink of the greasy honeysuckle orange dewberry lavender ylang ylang hand shit I unwisely sampled at the Origins counter in Foley's. I'm going to go to bed and whimper. Maybe when I wake up this will be mine.
All it takes to undo me is a baby shower followed by three hours spent at the mall helping someone else shop.
My hands still stink of the greasy honeysuckle orange dewberry lavender ylang ylang hand shit I unwisely sampled at the Origins counter in Foley's. I'm going to go to bed and whimper. Maybe when I wake up this will be mine.
