1.23.2004
Fer Christ's sake
Okay, you know how my car was emitting a horrible stench and I thought it was about to either blow up or lose its brakes and take out a bunch of screaming little kids?
Um, well, actually, ah...I ran over a plastic bag and it got stuck to my exhaust pipe.
The guys at Flamingo Automotive scraped it off with a wire brush, so it shouldn't stink for too much longer. I feel like a total dork, but apparently it happens a lot.
Better a red face and a $50 repair bill than a $300 brake job; now I can go drinking this weekend!
Hey, there are more pictures on the Garters page if you'd like to see them.
Okay, you know how my car was emitting a horrible stench and I thought it was about to either blow up or lose its brakes and take out a bunch of screaming little kids?
Um, well, actually, ah...I ran over a plastic bag and it got stuck to my exhaust pipe.
The guys at Flamingo Automotive scraped it off with a wire brush, so it shouldn't stink for too much longer. I feel like a total dork, but apparently it happens a lot.
Better a red face and a $50 repair bill than a $300 brake job; now I can go drinking this weekend!
Hey, there are more pictures on the Garters page if you'd like to see them.
Hello, I am a turtle.
This is most unfortunate.
This is most unfortunate.
1.22.2004
"My bike!"
--Pee Wee Herman
One nice thing about my car being a potential deathtrap is that I've been riding my bike around the past few days. I love my bike. Eric had it built for my birthday this year and customized it with stickers. I don't feel quite what I felt for my last bike, which I rode everywhere every day for six years, even through a sleet storm. (As soon as I got the car, I shamelessly let the old bike languish in the garage. That was inconsistent with my obnoxious five-year tirade about how stupid, wasteful, and wrong combustion engines were. It's in better hands now.)
The new bike is really cool, though, and actually riding it is better. In two days I have discovered a crazy covered pedestrian bridge between Sparks Avenue and East 31st Street, a few early renegade wildflowers along the access road, and my calf muscles. A friend who lives in my neighborhood even rode with me last night, which was great. I need more ladies to ride with.
I have an appointment tomorrow morning to get the car fixed. So. Will I ride my bike more often now? Do I respond better to the pursuit of pleasure or the avoidance of guilt? Should I have had a cup of coffee at 10 p.m.? What happens to us when we die? Will I ever, for the love of god, shut up?
Yes.
--Pee Wee Herman
One nice thing about my car being a potential deathtrap is that I've been riding my bike around the past few days. I love my bike. Eric had it built for my birthday this year and customized it with stickers. I don't feel quite what I felt for my last bike, which I rode everywhere every day for six years, even through a sleet storm. (As soon as I got the car, I shamelessly let the old bike languish in the garage. That was inconsistent with my obnoxious five-year tirade about how stupid, wasteful, and wrong combustion engines were. It's in better hands now.)
The new bike is really cool, though, and actually riding it is better. In two days I have discovered a crazy covered pedestrian bridge between Sparks Avenue and East 31st Street, a few early renegade wildflowers along the access road, and my calf muscles. A friend who lives in my neighborhood even rode with me last night, which was great. I need more ladies to ride with.
I have an appointment tomorrow morning to get the car fixed. So. Will I ride my bike more often now? Do I respond better to the pursuit of pleasure or the avoidance of guilt? Should I have had a cup of coffee at 10 p.m.? What happens to us when we die? Will I ever, for the love of god, shut up?
Yes.
Ew.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ewwww:
Restaurant owner charged with taping women in restroom
By Tony Plohetski
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Austin-American Statesman
Austin police have charged the owner of a downtown restaurant with improper photography after investigators said he videotaped patrons using the women's restroom and employees changing clothes.
Bail was set at $10,000 for Chien-Jui Kuo, who police said owns Pango Tea Bar at 718 Congress Ave.
According to a warrant filed Wednesday, a customer found a camera pointed at the toilet and sink area hidden in a plant, covered with a black cloth.
The customer then told the restaurant's bar manager, who found the camera and saw that its power was on. She and the restaurant manager found a power cord leading inside a padlocked closet, broke the lock and discovered that the camera was plugged into an electrical outlet.
Employees told police that Kuo has a camera receiver in his office, connected to a television, the affidavit said. The employees confronted Kuo, who acknowledged that the camera belonged to him, police said.
Ew.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ewwww:
Restaurant owner charged with taping women in restroom
By Tony Plohetski
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Austin-American Statesman
Austin police have charged the owner of a downtown restaurant with improper photography after investigators said he videotaped patrons using the women's restroom and employees changing clothes.
Bail was set at $10,000 for Chien-Jui Kuo, who police said owns Pango Tea Bar at 718 Congress Ave.
According to a warrant filed Wednesday, a customer found a camera pointed at the toilet and sink area hidden in a plant, covered with a black cloth.
The customer then told the restaurant's bar manager, who found the camera and saw that its power was on. She and the restaurant manager found a power cord leading inside a padlocked closet, broke the lock and discovered that the camera was plugged into an electrical outlet.
Employees told police that Kuo has a camera receiver in his office, connected to a television, the affidavit said. The employees confronted Kuo, who acknowledged that the camera belonged to him, police said.
Ew.
1.21.2004
1.20.2004
Damn you, Hobby Lobby!
My friend Dan drove me all the way down to the store at Manchaca and William Cannon. We were in looking for these really nice photo boxes he discovered and snapped up at the north location. I really need a better way to organize my pictures than a cascading pile of stretched-out shoeboxes. But they didn't have any left. Apparently it's more important to them to carry acres of fake flowers, brass lamps with grapevine motifs, and atrocious wicker animals. No, really, Hobby Lobby, it's fine. Don't leave room for something cool and useful. Maybe someone like Dan got wise and cleaned up there, too.
Damn you, my car!
It smells like it's about to burst into flames. The consensus is it's just my brakes. So actually it smells like it's about to speed out of control, run over some pedestrians, skid up into someone's yard, hit a tree, and then burst into flames. I think I'll ride my bike to work tomorrow after I call the mechanic.
Damn you, Democrats!
Your measured, intense, quavering deliveries make you look schlocky. On the other hand, your fist-pumping vehemence is truly icky. I agree with your issues and you all turn my stomach; how do you expect to change anyone's mind with this desperate grade-D stuff?
Damn you, Mr. Gatti's!
I atefour five pieces of your hot, fresh, mediocre pizza. Now I feel logy.
Update
Roone's bite is swollen and ugly, but he feels okay. He linked to the post below on his UT fan board, which generated over 400 hits here in twelve hours. Jeez. I shouldn't be surprised. Who doesn't like to look at pictures of gnarly puncture wounds?
My friend Dan drove me all the way down to the store at Manchaca and William Cannon. We were in looking for these really nice photo boxes he discovered and snapped up at the north location. I really need a better way to organize my pictures than a cascading pile of stretched-out shoeboxes. But they didn't have any left. Apparently it's more important to them to carry acres of fake flowers, brass lamps with grapevine motifs, and atrocious wicker animals. No, really, Hobby Lobby, it's fine. Don't leave room for something cool and useful. Maybe someone like Dan got wise and cleaned up there, too.
Damn you, my car!
It smells like it's about to burst into flames. The consensus is it's just my brakes. So actually it smells like it's about to speed out of control, run over some pedestrians, skid up into someone's yard, hit a tree, and then burst into flames. I think I'll ride my bike to work tomorrow after I call the mechanic.
Damn you, Democrats!
Your measured, intense, quavering deliveries make you look schlocky. On the other hand, your fist-pumping vehemence is truly icky. I agree with your issues and you all turn my stomach; how do you expect to change anyone's mind with this desperate grade-D stuff?
Damn you, Mr. Gatti's!
I ate
Update
Roone's bite is swollen and ugly, but he feels okay. He linked to the post below on his UT fan board, which generated over 400 hits here in twelve hours. Jeez. I shouldn't be surprised. Who doesn't like to look at pictures of gnarly puncture wounds?
1.19.2004
Holy crap!
Roone got chomped by a dog today. He was helping a woman install a doggie door for her border collie mix, and the stupid mutt latched onto his arm. (My sister: "Did you at least get a conciliatory blow job out of it?" Roone: "No.")
Roone wanted me to tell everyone it was a gunshot wound, but I think a dogbite is brutal enough. The picture doesn't do the wound justice; you could see the subcutaneous fat cells oozing through. To spare the squeamish, further details are here.
Yep. It was an exciting end to a dull day in which I did nothing but go to the park and avoid the second near-wreck in a week. (The first one would have been totally my fault, I admit, but what are you supposed to do at a corner where you can't see oncoming cars until you're about to be hit by one? If people didn't park their nine-foot-tall monstermobiles six fucking inches from the corner, blah, blah, self-righteous blah....)
Today's fun link is both courtesy and in honor of Roone. You should go look at it while I try to set a personal record for number of cigarettes smoked in nine hours.
Roone got chomped by a dog today. He was helping a woman install a doggie door for her border collie mix, and the stupid mutt latched onto his arm. (My sister: "Did you at least get a conciliatory blow job out of it?" Roone: "No.")
Roone wanted me to tell everyone it was a gunshot wound, but I think a dogbite is brutal enough. The picture doesn't do the wound justice; you could see the subcutaneous fat cells oozing through. To spare the squeamish, further details are here.
Yep. It was an exciting end to a dull day in which I did nothing but go to the park and avoid the second near-wreck in a week. (The first one would have been totally my fault, I admit, but what are you supposed to do at a corner where you can't see oncoming cars until you're about to be hit by one? If people didn't park their nine-foot-tall monstermobiles six fucking inches from the corner, blah, blah, self-righteous blah....)
Today's fun link is both courtesy and in honor of Roone. You should go look at it while I try to set a personal record for number of cigarettes smoked in nine hours.
1.18.2004
All right!
We went to Dobie Theater tonight and scored the makeout booth. It's in the back of the Egyptian room and has big plush recliners. Eric barked his shin really hard on a sharp corner in there, though, and the movie we saw didn't exactly lend itself to smooching. Dammit.
Christina Ricci is so barely okay as an actress I don't know why she bothers. Also I think she has hair plugs now.
My hairline, of course, is lush and perfect. Old women ask to stroke it for luck. Children stare respectfully. One guy was so dazzled by it he drove his cement truck into a ditch. What a mess! I just chuckled modestly and rode away.
2 Kings, 18:27
I ran into an old friend at H-E-B today. She has found Jesus in a big way. I never know what to say to people when they tell me about finding Jesus. I get tunnel vision the second I hear the phrase "Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior." Usually I just say something ridiculous like "Huh. Oh, wow," and try to smile politely and maintain eye contact.
Today I think my Jesus smile was closer to an uncertain grimace because my friend got defensive and started telling me even more about Jesus. (Did I mention she found Jesus?) Then I felt like a real shit because, after all, I had asked her what was new, and she seemed much happier than when I met her. Then I felt irritated because I think the Jesus spiel is tactless. Then paid for my groceries and forgot all about it until now.
Holiday
I have the day off tomorrow, but I'm not sure whom to thank. Either way, I won't be doing much. I told my sister I'd do Tae-Bo with her, but I'm afraid I lied.
We went to Dobie Theater tonight and scored the makeout booth. It's in the back of the Egyptian room and has big plush recliners. Eric barked his shin really hard on a sharp corner in there, though, and the movie we saw didn't exactly lend itself to smooching. Dammit.
Christina Ricci is so barely okay as an actress I don't know why she bothers. Also I think she has hair plugs now.
My hairline, of course, is lush and perfect. Old women ask to stroke it for luck. Children stare respectfully. One guy was so dazzled by it he drove his cement truck into a ditch. What a mess! I just chuckled modestly and rode away.
2 Kings, 18:27
I ran into an old friend at H-E-B today. She has found Jesus in a big way. I never know what to say to people when they tell me about finding Jesus. I get tunnel vision the second I hear the phrase "Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior." Usually I just say something ridiculous like "Huh. Oh, wow," and try to smile politely and maintain eye contact.
Today I think my Jesus smile was closer to an uncertain grimace because my friend got defensive and started telling me even more about Jesus. (Did I mention she found Jesus?) Then I felt like a real shit because, after all, I had asked her what was new, and she seemed much happier than when I met her. Then I felt irritated because I think the Jesus spiel is tactless. Then paid for my groceries and forgot all about it until now.
Holiday
I have the day off tomorrow, but I'm not sure whom to thank. Either way, I won't be doing much. I told my sister I'd do Tae-Bo with her, but I'm afraid I lied.
Yo tengo dolor de mi cerebro
I went to a graduation/going-away party last night at my friends' house. I ate too much cheese, drank beer, and danced. (That sounds like a phrase from a foreign-language workbook: Comí demasiado queso, bebí cerveza, y bailé.)
Anyway, I had to forgo all my plans today in favor of dividing the afternoon between the bed and the bathroom. (That does not sound anything like a phrase from a foreign-language workbook, but I'm pretty sure I've had occasion to use it far more often; que lastima.)
Tonight after I finally bathed and got dressed I went back to the same friends' house. We ate junk food and watched a Britney v. Brittany double feature of "Crossroads" and "Just Married." Both were abominable, but "Crossroads" was by far the better movie. "Just Married" was one of the biggest pieces of shit I've ever seen and wasn't even that great to make fun of. Next week: "Glitter," "Gigli," and, god willing, "Bring it On Again."
My backhoe belt buckle came today. I think it is very fine. The effect is ruined a little because I tend to wear my shirts long and it bulges through awkwardly. So if you see me, no, that's not a colostomy bag. But I probably am happy to see you.
I went to a graduation/going-away party last night at my friends' house. I ate too much cheese, drank beer, and danced. (That sounds like a phrase from a foreign-language workbook: Comí demasiado queso, bebí cerveza, y bailé.)
Anyway, I had to forgo all my plans today in favor of dividing the afternoon between the bed and the bathroom. (That does not sound anything like a phrase from a foreign-language workbook, but I'm pretty sure I've had occasion to use it far more often; que lastima.)
Tonight after I finally bathed and got dressed I went back to the same friends' house. We ate junk food and watched a Britney v. Brittany double feature of "Crossroads" and "Just Married." Both were abominable, but "Crossroads" was by far the better movie. "Just Married" was one of the biggest pieces of shit I've ever seen and wasn't even that great to make fun of. Next week: "Glitter," "Gigli," and, god willing, "Bring it On Again."
My backhoe belt buckle came today. I think it is very fine. The effect is ruined a little because I tend to wear my shirts long and it bulges through awkwardly. So if you see me, no, that's not a colostomy bag. But I probably am happy to see you.
