1.10.2004

Flea market

We had a fine time today at the flea market on 290. I can't believe I've lived here for 10 years and had never made it out there. You should go. It's only a dollar to park, and it is nothing but acres of stalls crammed with hideous garbage.

If it's trashy, they've got it:

Airbrushed T-shirts, ugly belts, funnel cakes.

All manner of things featuring playful dolphins, noble wolves, and/or pensive Indians.

A combination lamp/phone/picture frame/clock with a merry-go-round glued to its base.

Steering wheel covers.

Confederate flag lighters.

Plaques that say "I had to choose between my wife and fishing I SURE DO MISS HER."

But, alas, no crocodiles.

1.9.2004

I love Photoshop.

1.8.2004

Hey!
It's Mister Mustard!

1.7.2004


The frog stays.
Did the new owner really think people would blow up his restaurant?

1.6.2004

Bye, how are you
Click for a larger view
Read the hastily assembled story here.
Living with stinky boys
Usually it's pretty fun. But sometimes they fart on each other and call it chemical warfare, and they laugh at you when you want to watch "Drumline."
Fuckity.

1.5.2004

What I liked today:

Moveon.org's Bush in 30 Seconds ad finalists.
I'm partial to "What Are We Teaching Our Children?". Drawback: I only hope Eddie Vedder is too.

Soy snacks.
It's Soy Delicious (Get it? Aha ha ha ha. Dumbshits.) has an excellent frozen raspberry dessert. Drawback: Besides the godawful name, the carton merely says it's a "Fruit Sweetened Pint." Of what?
GeniSoy's Soy Crisps are tasty, salty, and cheap. Drawback: The name is probably supposed to evoke some hippie connection to the origins of life, but it always makes me think of genitals or genocide. Wait, that's not a drawback.

Spaten Optimator.
What's 7.2 percent alcohol and comes in big bottles?
Proximity Profile
Click for a larger view
Bill Anderson works in the office next to mine. He plays guitar and is fond of word games. Bill wears nice shirts, and his favorite lunch is pizza.

Next week: Inane facts about someone else I see pretty much every day. Maybe you.

1.4.2004

The only interesting thing that happened today:
Our cat caught a dove, broke its neck, picked out the tender parts, and left the remains next to my car door.

If previous episodes are any guide, later he will lick my face with his foul, stinking, bird-germy tongue while I sleep.

Maybe something cooler will happen tomorrow.

That sucked. Wanna read a joke?
First atom: Oh, no! I just lost an electron!
Second atom: Are you sure?
First atom: Sure? I'm positive!

That kind of sucked too.
Play with this instead.

When I said that was the only interesting thing that happened today, you know I meant to me, right? Other people watched new pictures come in from Mars, or got a new constitution, or had group sex, or did whatever else people do on Sunday afternoons. Perverts.


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