tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60943312011-04-21T22:35:35.733-05:00Oh, my stars and garters!xoxoJoooooolienoreply@blogger.comBlogger591100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1075847292674782502004-02-03T16:28:00.000-06:002004-02-03T23:46:28.610-06:00Psst! Come with me!
To starsandgarters.blogs.com.
No, come on, really, it'll be great. There's a merry-go-round and candy!Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1075778549568053242004-02-02T21:22:00.000-06:002004-02-03T23:54:18.840-06:00I consume food
We ate dinner at Din Ho tonight.
Before I started going there I ate plates and plates of fatty chicken in brown sauce and fried rice with peas and diced carrots mixed in, even at places that were supposed to be good. I thought Chinese food was okay but kind of sucky.
I was wrong. Everything I've had at Din Ho is delicious, especially the orange chicken and the asparagus crab Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1075600238308474442004-01-31T19:50:00.000-06:002004-02-09T12:23:17.310-06:00What does my car smell like today?
A couple of themes have emerged here in the past few weeks. First it was roommates getting attacked by dogs. Now it's the varying odors of my car.
Today it smells like marinade.
I thought I'd be staying in last night, so I bought a bottle of wine. I drank about half of it and decided I wanted company, so I went over to my friends' house. But it was after Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-107544173779107712004-01-29T23:48:00.000-06:002004-01-30T00:03:41.310-06:00Playlist for Club H-E-B:
Uptown Girl, Billy Joel
How Will I Know, Whitney Houston
Burnin' for You, Blue Oyster Cult
Suddenly, Olivia Newton John
Something equally terrible by Billy Ocean; I was futzing around at the checkout stand and didn't really pay attention.
The Muzak is really loud when there aren't too many people in there. The best part was busting a college girl dancing to Whitney Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1075417011711422882004-01-29T16:56:00.000-06:002004-01-29T18:42:39.530-06:00Thank you, helpful friends!
Your spoken, written, and shouted encouragement has motivated me to make a dentist appointment for March 1. Yes! I hung up with the receptionist and danced down the hall.
My excitement may seem disproportionate--psychotic, even--but you'll understand when I burn your retinas out with my gleaming, fantastic smile.
Here's what they look like now:
Yeah, they're prettyJoooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1075355448273724172004-01-28T23:50:00.000-06:002004-01-29T17:53:46.873-06:00Final tally
I have walked 2.55 miles today just by going about my day. Does that sound like a lot? I was hoping it would be more.
In other news
My roommate Wain was a riding his bike tonight and got chased by a dog that was snapping at his feet. He said he handled it by dismounting and chasing the dog right back. The dog looked confused for a second and ran away.
I applaud Wain for his Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1075334009752875982004-01-28T17:53:00.000-06:002004-01-28T18:01:57.856-06:00Mileage
I have walked 1.74 miles (4,794 steps) over the course of my workday. That includes trips to the cafeteria and the 7-Eleven up the street.
I can't wait to see how far I can go while drinking beer on the sofa tonight.
Help me run my life
Would somebody bug me about going to the dentist? And also wax my car? Thanks.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1075307544950260422004-01-28T10:32:00.000-06:002004-01-28T18:02:13.000-06:00New toy
I have a pedometer.
So far I have walked 0.63 miles today. That's 1736 steps.
It's .02 miles from my bedroom to the carport.
It's .03 miles from my office to the women's restroom.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1075193107184035032004-01-27T02:45:00.000-06:002004-01-27T12:33:53.326-06:00Fun time
Today we're making Calder mobiles.
When you're done, check out this guy's other stuff. Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1075182702197607132004-01-26T23:51:00.000-06:002004-01-27T02:09:08.840-06:00Equation to determine my bedtime
Let P=Pad Thai consumption (in ounces).
Let C=Cups of coffee drunk after 7 p.m.
Let G=Grumpy.
Let T=Tired.
(P17)+(C2) / (G9)+(T8.5)
=
1.08 a.m.
Hey, you know what's interesting?
Adaptation in polar bears! Fuck yes!Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1075157980383356072004-01-26T16:59:00.000-06:002006-02-08T13:44:03.093-06:00Proximity ProfileEric lives in my house with me. He likes to sculpt and draw. He is fond of seals, cats, and whooping cranes. Eric owns over 2,000 records, and his head is for sale on the Internet.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1075090865583052572004-01-25T22:21:00.000-06:002004-01-25T22:23:12.890-06:00Good weekend
I laughed a lot and made tortilla soup. Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074897701724324602004-01-23T16:41:00.000-06:002004-01-26T19:07:09.046-06:00Fer Christ's sake
Okay, you know how my car was emitting a horrible stench and I thought it was about to either blow up or lose its brakes and take out a bunch of screaming little kids?
Um, well, actually, ah...I ran over a plastic bag and it got stuck to my exhaust pipe.
The guys at Flamingo Automotive scraped it off with a wire brush, so it shouldn't stink for too much longer. I feel like a Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074885137824154742004-01-23T13:12:00.000-06:002004-01-23T13:27:59.200-06:00What I am doing today
explodingdog.com
Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074877051995453542004-01-23T10:57:00.000-06:002004-01-23T11:35:09.623-06:00Hello, I am a turtle.
This is most unfortunate.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074830802743666122004-01-22T22:06:00.000-06:002004-01-23T02:00:34.060-06:00"My bike!"
--Pee Wee Herman
One nice thing about my car being a potential deathtrap is that I've been riding my bike around the past few days. I love my bike. Eric had it built for my birthday this year and customized it with stickers. I don't feel quite what I felt for my last bike, which I rode everywhere every day for six years, even through a sleet storm. (As soon as I Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074804249686178642004-01-22T14:44:00.000-06:002004-01-28T17:04:03.543-06:00Ew.
Ew. Ew. Ew. Ewwww:
Restaurant owner charged with taping women in restroom
By Tony Plohetski
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Austin-American Statesman
Austin police have charged the owner of a downtown restaurant with improper photography after investigators said he videotaped patrons using the women's restroom and employees changing clothes.
Bail was set at $10,000 for Chien-Jui Kuo, who policeJoooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074721347857063362004-01-21T15:42:00.000-06:002004-01-27T00:55:46.873-06:00Entertain me
Stupid games for the bored.
(No more fun games. Sorry!)Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074655969236390382004-01-20T21:32:00.000-06:002004-01-20T23:56:25.810-06:00Damn you, Hobby Lobby!
My friend Dan drove me all the way down to the store at Manchaca and William Cannon. We were in looking for these really nice photo boxes he discovered and snapped up at the north location. I really need a better way to organize my pictures than a cascading pile of stretched-out shoeboxes. But they didn't have any left. Apparently it's more important to them to carry acres Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074571115076551412004-01-19T21:58:00.000-06:002004-01-20T00:49:07.500-06:00Holy crap!
Roone got chomped by a dog today. He was helping a woman install a doggie door for her border collie mix, and the stupid mutt latched onto his arm. (My sister: "Did you at least get a conciliatory blow job out of it?" Roone: "No.")
Roone wanted me to tell everyone it was a gunshot wound, but I think a dogbite is brutal enough. The picture doesn't do the wound justice; you could Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074488567150526162004-01-18T23:02:00.000-06:002004-01-19T00:48:21.780-06:00All right!
We went to Dobie Theater tonight and scored the makeout booth. It's in the back of the Egyptian room and has big plush recliners. Eric barked his shin really hard on a sharp corner in there, though, and the movie we saw didn't exactly lend itself to smooching. Dammit.
Christina Ricci is so barely okay as an actress I don't know why she bothers. Also I think she has hair plugs now.
Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074416629044754632004-01-18T03:03:00.000-06:002004-01-18T22:31:09.310-06:00Yo tengo dolor de mi cerebro
I went to a graduation/going-away party last night at my friends' house. I ate too much cheese, drank beer, and danced. (That sounds like a phrase from a foreign-language workbook: Comí demasiado queso, bebí cerveza, y bailé.)
Anyway, I had to forgo all my plans today in favor of dividing the afternoon between the bed and the bathroom. (That does not sound anything Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074296893282106442004-01-16T17:48:00.000-06:002004-01-16T17:50:07.686-06:00I like to make faces.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074291961245695842004-01-16T16:26:00.000-06:002004-01-16T16:34:24.576-06:00Victory
My office is now tidy, clean, and fully functional. The effect is marred only by the huge damp coffee stain on Joel's side of the carpet. (Sorry about that.)Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074285930539367422004-01-16T14:45:00.000-06:002004-01-16T17:33:40.420-06:00Sprout epilogue
I took yesterday off and forgot to dispose of my sad sprouts. Now they are stuck together with a delicate web of mold and smell like dirty feet. I should probably pour them into the garbage disposal.
I should really clean my entire office, now that I look at it. It's pretty disgusting. My officemate cleaned his desk today. It looks beautiful, but throws the trashiness of the Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074229696945202592004-01-15T23:08:00.000-06:002004-01-15T23:36:02.513-06:00When I said you should go...
You see interesting stuff sometimes when you bother to leave the house.
Today I was about to turn left at a difficult intersection near my house. A big scruffy guy started to cross the street in front of me but stopped when I pulled up. I did the little "after you" wave and waited. He gave me a malevolent look, rooted around, pulled out his astonishingly gigantic Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074142906631459632004-01-14T23:01:00.000-06:002004-01-15T01:13:21.496-06:00It is time for stormy weather
I like weather a lot. Large-scale forces of nature unceasingly sweep over the earth and remind us we are but a miniscule and helpless part of this planet, etc.
It's a terrible interest for me, though, because I'm lousy at science. I took a meteorology class in college and did all right, but I couldn't get my brain around certain concepts. (No, really, lapse rates Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074117004728742152004-01-14T15:50:00.000-06:002004-01-14T16:52:46.936-06:00Stupid sprout update
So far my yield is about 50 sprouts from 500 seeds. The instructions say there probably won't be any more. Despite their fetid smell, I tried a few. Not bad; they're nutty and spicy. But I'm not about to rummage through a stinky, sodden mass of failure to harvest the rest.
Maybe I'll try lentils next time. Whatever I decide, I promise not to write about it.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074052113508791232004-01-13T21:48:00.000-06:002004-01-13T22:03:51.153-06:00The art of overpopulation
Submit a drawing to the fun scary book.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074029132007356722004-01-13T15:25:00.000-06:002004-01-13T15:28:22.030-06:00Sprout experiment update
After 24 hours, the seeds broken and soggy and smell kind of sour. They could not look any less like they're supposed to. I am puzzled and sad.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1074018538641532092004-01-13T12:28:00.000-06:002004-01-13T12:37:05.903-06:00You got it, kiddo
My sister read this the other day.
She seemed unimpressed.
She was also pissed that I hadn't mentioned her yet.
So I just did.
And to make up for my negligence I made her this.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073967314209898032004-01-12T22:15:00.000-06:002004-01-12T23:38:38.803-06:00Proximity Profile
Roone Briley sleeps in the bedroom next to mine. He drinks gin and tonics at Club de Ville and takes glucosamine tablets. Roone is a fan of UT football and recently purchased a two-year subscription to The Economist. Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073949643110174552004-01-12T17:20:00.000-06:002004-01-13T13:08:37.826-06:00Activities for a drizzly Monday:
1. Playing cribbage
Cribbage is always an enjoyable pastime, especially on such a festive board.
2. Smoking cigarette after cigarette until your throat feels like it's going to bleed
Don't knock it until you've tried it.
3. Conducting science experiments
This week we'll be trying to grow sunflower sprouts in what is touted as the "easiest sprouter ever!" I Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073884948458600292004-01-11T23:22:00.000-06:002004-01-11T23:35:15.816-06:00I'm ruined
All it takes to undo me is a baby shower followed by three hours spent at the mall helping someone else shop.
My hands still stink of the greasy honeysuckle orange dewberry lavender ylang ylang hand shit I unwisely sampled at the Origins counter in Foley's. I'm going to go to bed and whimper. Maybe when I wake up this will be mine.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073779003314513182004-01-10T17:56:00.000-06:002004-01-10T18:26:38.393-06:00Flea market
We had a fine time today at the flea market on 290. I can't believe I've lived here for 10 years and had never made it out there. You should go. It's only a dollar to park, and it is nothing but acres of stalls crammed with hideous garbage.
If it's trashy, they've got it:
Airbrushed T-shirts, ugly belts, funnel cakes.
All manner of things featuring playful dolphins, noble Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073689012484373522004-01-09T16:56:00.000-06:002004-01-23T21:44:24.123-06:00I love Photoshop.
Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073592372269941822004-01-08T14:06:00.000-06:002004-01-08T14:15:28.736-06:00Hey!
It's Mister Mustard!Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073516049574162942004-01-07T16:54:00.000-06:002004-01-07T16:56:33.406-06:00Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073514661812392272004-01-07T16:31:00.000-06:002004-01-07T23:57:46.240-06:00The frog stays.
Did the new owner really think people would blow up his restaurant?Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073441830475359082004-01-06T20:17:00.000-06:002004-01-07T00:02:01.140-06:00Bye, how are you
Read the hastily assembled story here.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073439614275612382004-01-06T19:40:00.000-06:002004-01-07T10:56:51.370-06:00Living with stinky boys
Usually it's pretty fun. But sometimes they fart on each other and call it chemical warfare, and they laugh at you when you want to watch "Drumline."Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-107342979088801262004-01-06T16:56:00.000-06:002004-01-06T16:56:49.823-06:00Fuckity.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073366788995661572004-01-05T23:26:00.000-06:002004-01-06T01:00:50.840-06:00What I liked today:
Moveon.org's Bush in 30 Seconds ad finalists.
I'm partial to "What Are We Teaching Our Children?". Drawback: I only hope Eddie Vedder is too.
Soy snacks.
It's Soy Delicious (Get it? Aha ha ha ha. Dumbshits.) has an excellent frozen raspberry dessert. Drawback: Besides the godawful name, the carton merely says it's a "Fruit Sweetened Pint." Of what?
GeniSoy's Soy Crisps Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073338091011916442004-01-05T15:28:00.000-06:002004-01-05T15:55:56.023-06:00Proximity Profile
Bill Anderson works in the office next to mine. He plays guitar and is fond of word games. Bill wears nice shirts, and his favorite lunch is pizza.
Next week: Inane facts about someone else I see pretty much every day. Maybe you.
Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073273284900390132004-01-04T21:28:00.000-06:002004-01-05T21:44:55.210-06:00The only interesting thing that happened today:
Our cat caught a dove, broke its neck, picked out the tender parts, and left the remains next to my car door.
If previous episodes are any guide, later he will lick my face with his foul, stinking, bird-germy tongue while I sleep.
Maybe something cooler will happen tomorrow.
That sucked. Wanna read a joke?
First atom: Oh, no! I just lost an Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073184318348472162004-01-03T20:45:00.000-06:002004-01-03T23:59:14.303-06:00This is the shit
I love Ichiban. It's not the best sushi in town, but it's tasty and relatively cheap, and our check always comes with mochi ice cream. Besides, Musashino has never jammed a paper cocktail umbrella into our rainbow roll in the name of presentation.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073095169266271652004-01-02T19:59:00.000-06:002004-01-02T20:35:42.393-06:00Don't put into mouth to prevent from choking
Our friends Jillian and Mosley have been staying with us, so much of this week has been a dissolute slumber party fueled by drinks, cigarettes, and an obscene amount of cubed cheese left over from New Year's Eve.
Today, though, I dragged my bloated fleshbag out for a nice wholesome hike at Wild Basin Preserve.
Some of the trails are pretty lush, Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1073030291920638622004-01-01T20:57:00.000-06:002004-01-02T19:01:51.526-06:00Ung.
Happy New Year.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1072848001589391442003-12-30T23:20:00.000-06:002003-12-30T23:20:19.210-06:00Dear Diary,
We have houseguests on the way for the rest of the week. I cleaned the toilet in their honor.
Yep. That's about it.
Yours,
JoolieJoooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1072720245135975142003-12-29T11:50:00.000-06:002003-12-29T15:04:58.383-06:00Game corner
This is the funnest game ever.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1072644097616098332003-12-28T14:41:00.000-06:002004-01-04T01:51:15.060-06:00Beef soup recipe
Place a pound of beef bones in a large pot with far too much water, half an onion, a bay leaf, and six cloves of garlic. Boil vigorously for two hours. Pat yourself on the back for cooking from scratch and drink a few glasses of cheap red wine.
Taste the broth. It will have no flavor and will leave an unpleasant coating on your tongue. Glug some wine in the pot and add a lot of Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1072578319553082372003-12-27T20:25:00.000-06:002003-12-29T13:16:37.140-06:00...and the Christmas beat goes on.
Our exceptionally unfriendly mailman brought a small, curious package today.
No wonder my present from Eric was late this year; it came from Russia.
Now I have a Lomo!
He also got a Colorsplash flash to use with it. He's an ace, that one.
Except I've taken far too many pictures today and am just wasting precious film and batteries at this point, in Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1072493354585722572003-12-26T20:49:00.000-06:002003-12-27T14:26:30.530-06:00This Christmas Day, blessings were said; candles were lit; and peace, mystery, and the imperfect but wondrous nature of mankind was meditated upon.
But not by me.
I did eat a shitload of roast beef, take a nap, hang out with my family, and go to both IHOP and Denny's. Eric and I also watched the Yule log on tv for a little longer than I felt comfortable with. It was a good, quick, funny Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1072480867869591132003-12-26T17:21:00.000-06:002003-12-26T19:08:33.966-06:00I have a digital camera.
Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1072236806691733042003-12-23T21:33:00.000-06:002003-12-26T20:07:12.936-06:00Updates
The artichoke dip was well received. I kept the taquitos for myself.
That taquitos link from yesterday takes you to a site that features reviews of 92 different kinds of salt and vinegar chips. I've only sampled about five. My own dispassionate review: Boulder vinegar chips are the best. Lay's are the worst. The Pringles brand chips taste confusing. The other two are just fine.
I Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1072147793275878752003-12-22T20:49:00.000-06:002003-12-23T21:48:40.006-06:00Prioritizing
I don't know HTML. I'm not going to learn it tonight. Instead I'm going to make artichoke dip for a Christmas potluck tomorrow. The secret ingredient is half a jar of mayonnaise, but I don't like to tell people that because then they don't want to eat it.
I might bring a big box of frozen taquitos too.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1071988153343776542003-12-21T00:29:00.000-06:002003-12-21T00:29:28.276-06:00Do you like my blog?
Yes.
No.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1071877094198732112003-12-19T17:38:00.000-06:002003-12-22T20:56:55.276-06:00Stupid!Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6094331.post-1069133121956954002003-11-17T23:25:00.000-06:002003-12-22T20:56:34.386-06:00Land sakes!
Also: I swan.Joooooolienoreply@blogger.com0